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LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

How to Determine When You Have Feelings for Someone

YEET MAGAZINE

• 9 min read

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Contents Page

EXPLORE ALL

Recognizing the Presence of Love for Someone
Does Love Get Shaped by Biology or Society?
Ways to Express Affection to Another Individual

Consequences


Love encompasses a range of feelings and actions marked by intimacy, passion, and dedication.

It includes feelings of care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, fondness, and trust."

"Love's intensity can vary and evolve over time. It elicits a spectrum of positive emotions such as happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but can also trigger negative feelings like jealousy and stress.1

Many regard love as one of the most crucial human emotions, yet despite extensive research, it remains one of the least comprehended. For instance, there is an ongoing debate among researchers about whether love is primarily a biological or cultural phenomenon.2

In all likelihood, love is shaped by both biology and culture.

While hormones and biology play a significant role, our individual concepts of love also influence how we express and encounter it.

5  Psychological Theories of Love


How to Recognize When You're Experiencing Love?


What are some indicators of love? Researchers have drawn distinctions between feelings of affection and liking someone.

Zick Rubin's Liking and Loving Scales
According to psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love consists of three core elements:3

  1. Attachment: The need to be in the company of another person and a desire for physical contact and approval.
  2. Caring: Valuing the happiness and needs of the other person as much as one's own.
  3. Intimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person.

Based on this perspective of romantic love, Rubin created two questionnaires to measure these aspects, known as Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving. While people tend to perceive those they like as pleasant, love is characterized by devotion, possessiveness, and a willingness to confide in one another.

Wondering if It's Love? Take the Quiz

Varieties of Love

Love comes in various forms, and psychologists have identified several types of love that individuals may encounter.1

These categories of love encompass:

  1. Friendship: Involves liking someone and sharing a certain level of intimacy.
  2. Infatuation: Often entails intense feelings of attraction without a commitment; typically occurs early in a relationship and may develop into a more enduring love.
  3. Passionate love: Characterized by intense longing and attraction, often involving idealizing the other person and a desire for constant physical closeness.
  4. Compassionate/companionate love: Exhibits trust, affection, intimacy, and commitment.
  5. Unrequited love: Occurs when one person loves another who does not reciprocate those feelings.

Related post

Twin Flame: A lesser-known cousin of the soulmate.

Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

Psychologist Robert Sternberg, in the early 1980s, developed the widely recognized Triangular Theory of Love.4 Subsequent research has confirmed its applicability across various cultures.

Sternberg dissected love into three components—intimacy, passion, and commitment—that interact to create seven distinct types of love.

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

Love Type          Components
Friendship         Intimacy
Infatuation        Passion
Empty                 Commitment
Romantic           Intimacy, passion
Companionate  Intimacy
Fatuous             Commitment,passion
Consummate    Intimacy, compassion, commitment

Is Love Shaped by Biology or Culture?

The origins of love are a subject of debate among researchers. Some argue that love is an inherent human emotion, akin to happiness or anger, while others contend it is a cultural construct influenced by societal pressures and norms.

Studies have revealed that romantic love exists across all cultures, implying a strong biological basis for love. It is ingrained in human nature to seek and experience love. However, culture plays a significant role in shaping how individuals perceive, encounter, and express romantic love.2

Is Love an Emotion?

Psychologists, sociologists, and researchers hold differing views on the nature of love. Some assert that it's not a conventional emotion but rather a fundamental physiological drive. Psychologist and biologist Enrique Burunat suggests that "Love is a physiological motivation, much like hunger, thirst, sleep, and the drive for sex".

In contrast, the American Psychological Association defines it as a "complex emotion.

Still, others distinguish between primary and secondary emotions, categorizing love as a secondary emotion arising from a blend of primary emotions.

Ways to Demonstrate Love for Someone

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to expressing love. Every relationship is unique, shaped by individual histories and needs. Some ways to demonstrate love to those you care about encompass:

Determining Love Feelings
Categories

Influence of Love: Nature or Culture?

Expressions of Love

Consequences
 

Love comprises a range of emotions and actions characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It encompasses care, closeness, protection, attraction, affection, and trust.

Love is not static; its intensity can fluctuate and evolve over time. It's associated with a spectrum of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also trigger negative emotions like jealousy and stress.1

When it comes to love, opinions differ; some argue it's one of the fundamental human emotions, akin to happiness or anger, while others perceive it as a cultural construct shaped by societal norms and expectations.

Studies have shown that romantic love exists across diverse cultures, suggesting a strong biological underpinning. It's part of human nature to seek love, yet culture significantly influences how we perceive, experience, and express it.

Is Love an Emotion?

Psychologists, sociologists, and researchers hold varying views on the nature of love.
Some see it as more than just an emotion, describing it as a fundamental physiological drive, similar to hunger, thirst, sleep, and the sex drive.

Conversely, the American Psychological Association defines it as a "complex emotion."

Others categorize it as a secondary emotion, stemming from a blend of primary emotions.

Demonstrating Love to Others

There isn't a universal formula for expressing love; each relationship is unique, shaped by individual histories and needs. Actions to convey love to your loved ones may include:

The Impact of Love on Mental Health
Love, attachment, and affection play a vital role in overall well-being and quality of life. Loving relationships have been associated with:

  • Reduced risk of heart disease.
  • Improved survival rates after a heart attack.
  • Healthier lifestyle choices.
  • Increased lifespan.
  • Lower stress levels.
  • Reduced incidence of depression.
  • Decreased risk of diabetes.

Tips for Nurturing Love

Long-lasting relationships thrive on trust, commitment, and intimacy. To foster loving relationships:

  • Build and maintain deep trust.
  • Nurture commitment.
  • Cultivate intimacy.

Exploring Love: A Comprehensive Overview

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd | Updated on April 27, 2023
Reviewed by Emily Swaim

Understanding Love
Verywell / Laura Porter

Table of Contents

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Table of Contents

How to Recognize When You're Experiencing Love
Varieties

The Influence of Biology and Culture on Love

Methods of Expressing Love

Impacts

Love, as a complex set of sentiments and behaviors, is characterized by traits such as intimacy, passion, and commitment. It entails feelings of care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.

The nature of love is not fixed; it varies in intensity and has the potential to evolve over time. It is associated with a spectrum of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria. However, it can also trigger negative emotions, such as jealousy and stress.

When it comes to love, opinions diverge. While some consider it a fundamental human emotion, akin to happiness or anger, others regard it as a product of culture, shaped by societal pressures and expectations.

Extensive research has revealed that romantic love is a universal phenomenon, existing across all cultures, which implies a strong biological foundation for love. The innate human drive to seek and experience love is undeniable. Nevertheless, culture plays a significant role in shaping how individuals conceive, experience, and outwardly express romantic love.2

Is Love an Emotion?

Psychologists, sociologists, and researchers have differing perspectives on the characterization of love.

Some contend that it transcends conventional emotions, describing it as an essential physiological motivation, akin to hunger, thirst, sleep, and the drive for sex, as proposed by psychologist and biologist Enrique Burunat.

Conversely, the American Psychological Association defines it as a "complex emotion."6 Still, others distinguish between primary and secondary emotions, categorizing love as a secondary emotion that arises from a fusion of primary emotions.

Conveying Affection to Others

Expressing love is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor.  Each relationship is unique, influenced by individual backgrounds and needs. Some ways to demonstrate affection toward those you cherish include:

•     Embracing vulnerability.

  • Practicing forgiveness.
  • Striving to do your best and being willing to apologize when you err.
  • Conveying your care and concern.
  • Actively listening.
  • Prioritizing quality time together.
  • Reciprocating acts of love and kindness.
  • Acknowledging and appreciating their positive qualities.
  • Sharing your personal experiences and thoughts.
  • Displaying affection.
  • Offering unconditional support.

The Influence of Love on Mental Health

Love, attachment, and affection exert a profound impact on overall well-being and quality of life. Loving relationships have been linked to:

  • Reduced risk of heart disease.
  • Improved survival rates following a heart attack.
  • Adoption of healthier lifestyle habits.
  • Prolonged life expectancy.
  • Reduced stress levels.
  • Diminished incidence of depression.
  • Decreased risk of diabetes.

Strategies for Fostering Love

Sustaining enduring relationships hinges on cultivating deep levels of trust, commitment, and intimacy. Measures to nurture loving relationships encompass:

Engaging in loving-kindness meditation, which promotes self-acceptance and stress reduction while enhancing positive emotions and interpersonal bonds.

Fostering open communication to address the diverse needs of both partners.

  • Handling conflicts in a constructive manner, avoiding avoidance, and working collaboratively to resolve issues and advance the relationship positively.

Consider practicing loving-kindness meditation (LKM), a technique commonly utilized to enhance self-acceptance, alleviate stress, and foster positive emotions. Additionally, LKM has been demonstrated to enhance interpersonal relationships. This meditation involves focusing on warm sentiments and a genuine desire for the well-being and happiness of a person you care about while meditating.

Effective communication is essential because everyone possesses unique needs.

Ensuring that both your and your loved one's needs are met involves open dialogue.

Demonstrating love entails conveying it through words and actions.

This can be achieved by displaying care, making them feel special, expressing your affection, and performing thoughtful gestures.

Addressing conflicts in a constructive manner is crucial for healthy relationships.

Avoiding arguments doesn't necessarily indicate a healthy relationship; it often means avoiding confronting issues. Rather than evading conflict, concentrate on resolving issues in a constructive manner, facilitating the positive progression of the relationship.

Understanding the Five Love Languages

Undesirable Emotions Linked to Love

In the words of Shakespeare, the journey of love is rarely without its obstacles. Imperfection is inherent in all relationships, giving rise to issues, disputes, misunderstandings, and letdowns that can lead to emotional distress or heartache.

While love is commonly associated with an array of positive emotions, it can also bring forth a spectrum of negative feelings.

Some potential challenges associated with experiencing love encompass:

  1. Anxiety
  2. Depression
  3. Heightened stress levels
  4. Jealousy
  5. Obsessive thoughts
  6. Feelings of possessiveness
  7. Sadness

While it is natural to encounter certain negative emotions in the realm of love, it can become problematic when these negative feelings outweigh the positive ones or disrupt the normal functioning of individuals. In such instances, seeking relationship counseling can be a beneficial step to address issues related to miscommunication, stress, or emotional struggles.

Exploring the History of Love


The scientific exploration of love is a relatively recent development.

Historically, the study of love was primarily left to "creative writers who portrayed the essential conditions for love," as observed by Sigmund Freud.

He noted that "it is inevitable for science to turn its attention to the same subject matter that has provided enjoyment to humanity through the arts for thousands of years.

Since Freud's time, research on love has expanded significantly. However, early investigations into the nature and origins of love faced substantial criticism. In the 1970s, U.S. Senator William Proxmire criticized researchers studying love, dismissing their work as a misallocation of taxpayer funds.

Despite these initial challenges, research has illuminated the crucial role of love in both child development and adult well-being.

Related Articles

•  Understanding Your Attachment Style

Sources:

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References:

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