Staying in touch with your parents after their divorce: your how‑to guide for keeping the bond alive

By YEET Magazine Staff, YEET Magazine
Published October 3, 2025

Staying in touch with your parents after their divorce: your how‑to guide for keeping the bond alive

When two parents split up, it can feel like everything changes — and that includes your relationship with each of them. But staying connected, picking up the phone, and keeping the lines open can make a real difference. Here’s why it matters, what to watch out for, and how you can keep in contact in a healthy, meaningful way.

Why it matters to keep calling: the human story

Take Mélanie, 27, living in Lyon. Her parents divorced when she was 15. For the first few years afterward she cut off calls with her dad. “I didn’t know what to say,” she remembers. “It felt awkward, like the old rules didn’t apply anymore.” Over time she reached out again: a weekly phone call, checking in on his health, his work, sharing small wins in her life. “I realised he still cared,” she says, “and I needed that connection.”

Research backs this up: when parents separate, children and non‑custodial parents (or parents living apart) often lose contact more than you’d expect. ResearchGate+1 One Canadian study found that among parents who didn’t have sole custody, about half saw their child weekly when the child was living with the other parent — but a sizeable portion did less than once a week, or not at all. Statistics Canada

Keeping in touch through calls or messages helps maintain the parent‑child bond. In one article, researchers found that telephone was the main tool for families separated by distance or divorce — though it had its limits. sites.cc.gatech.edu+1

What the research says: contact patterns and pitfalls

• Studies show that the relationship between the separated parents matters a lot for whether children continue to have contact with both. If parents are hostile or disconnected, contact is more likely to drop. Gingerbread+1
• Contact frequency matters: in the Canadian data, parents who saw their child at least once a week were far more likely to be satisfied with time spent than those who saw them less often. Statistics Canada
• It’s not just about physical visits: one study of divorced families found that while calls and messages help, they aren’t always enough to substitute for more direct engagement. ScienceDirect
• For children’s wellbeing, continued positive contact with both parents can help reduce emotional and behavioural risks linked to divorce. PMC

Real‑life steps: how to pick up the phone and keep the connection

Here’s how you, as the child of divorced parents (or a young adult), can stay in touch with your mom or dad — or both — in a meaningful way:

1. Set a schedule
Decide a weekly or bi‑weekly time to call. Consistency helps. “I call Dad every Sunday at 8 pm,” says Mélanie. “Even five minutes is enough to keep us looped in.”

2. Keep it simple and real
You don’t need long speeches. Ask about their day, share a small story from yours. A text that says “saw something today that reminded me of you” works. The telephone research found that pure audio calls had limitations — so feel free to mix in video or a photo message. sites.cc.gatech.edu+1

3. Avoid the divorce talk trap
If you’re contacting because of the divorce (or one parent is angry), that can add tension. Focus on you and them, not just the separation. One study from West Virginia University found that “innocuous chitchat” between divorced co‑parents could still harm children’s wellbeing. wvutoday.wvu.edu

4. Be respectful of boundaries
If a parent is dating, busy, or needs space, recognise that. Ask: “Would now be a good time to talk?” That courtesy goes a long way.

5. Mix communication types
Call, text, video message, send a postcard — especially if distance is a barrier. The Australian‑based article “No more than a phone call away” noted telephoning is common when distance separates families. aifs.gov.au

6. Share something meaningful
It doesn’t have to be big: “I got a new job,” “I learned to bake bread,” “Saw our old photo.” These small moments build connection.

7. When something goes wrong — address it
If contact drops off, don’t wait forever. Reach out gently: “I’ve missed talking with you — is everything okay?” It’s better than assuming they don’t care.

What parents need to know

If you’re a parent who’s recently divorced (or has been divorced some time), here’s how you can support your child staying in touch:

• Initiate contact, but don’t pressure.
• Make the child feel safe: your home, or your communication space, should feel calm and consistent.
• Keep conflict out of your calls with your child: If your former partner is in the equation, keep your direct communication with the child separate and positive.
• Use technology: For younger children especially, video chats or sharing photos can help maintain closeness even when you’re apart.

What You Can Do Now

• Pick a regular time this week to call one parent.
• Before the call, jot down one or two things you want to say — maybe something good, maybe something small.
• After the call, reflect: Did you feel closer? Did it feel awkward? Could you tweak something next time?
• If you notice calls dropping off, plan how you’ll reconnect — a quick text can re‑open lines.

Why this matters for you

Because family matters. Even when a marriage ends, the relationship between parent and child doesn’t have to end. By picking up the phone, sending a message, sharing a moment — you build something steady and human. You show that even though the house and the rules may have changed, the care doesn’t.

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By telling this story and offering real steps, we hope you’ll feel more confident about making that call — to your mom, your dad, your former partner’s friend, whoever matters. Because relationships don’t always end when the house splits. Sometimes they just need a little effort to stay alive.

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