What were the last words you heard someone say before they died?

What were the last words you heard someone say before they died?

On August 10, 2025, my 82-year-old mother who lived with me and who wasn’t feeling well for about a week, finally came to me and asked me to take her to the ER. We thought maybe she had an intestinal blockage or other digestive issue, but it turned out she had stage 4 ovarian cancer that had metastasized to her liver, pancreas and basically all throughout her abdomen.

She was transferred to another hospital that specialized in gyno-cancer treatment and we were told she was a candidate for chemo to be followed by surgery to remove the two large tumors that had been pressing on her intestines and interfering with her digestion and ability to eat and have bowel movements.

I was skeptical that mom could withstand either the chemo or the surgery, but the doctors convinced her it would give her additional years versus the few weeks she might have if she did nothing. However, the thing that persuaded her to go along was them telling her she could go home after the first chemo treatment. She hated being in the hospital and longed to go home.

After being in the hospital for a week, mom received the chemo treatment intravenously and they sent her home immediately after. What happened next was a nightmare that I will relive in my mind for the rest of my life.

Her digestive issues were never properly dealt with and her discharge instructions indicated she could and should eat normally so we fed her that evening and she proceeded to have incredibly painful heartburn, followed by nonstop vomiting. I stayed up with her all night trying to comfort her and praying but had no idea what to do. I called the doctor the next morning and they told me to check her blood sugar…450!

The doctor said to call 911 and have her brought back to the hospital, which I did. She had to be processed back through the ER where they seemed to have zero knowledge of her condition because they operate on a separate system from the rest of the hospital so they started running a bunch of unnecessary tests until I got there and explained the situation (I had driven separately to the hospital).

When I arrived I found out they had given her morphine and placed her flat on her back in a room by herself. I walked in to find her choking on her own vomit and yelled for help. Eventually, she was admitted and sent to the ICU because she had inhaled so much vomit that she was aspirating. So 12 hours after arriving, mom was in ICU, on oxygen, and hooked up to 10 different IV bags with all manner of pain killers, antibiotics, insulin, blood thinner, etc. She had a tube coming out of her stomach carrying blood and food waste from food she had eaten over the last couple of weeks that couldn’t go anywhere. She looked like death and wanted to die at that point.

My siblings and I were with her when she told us she didn’t want anymore treatment and was ready to die. A respiratory doctor came in and started talking to us about giving mom a blood transfusion and keeping her on oxygen and the IV regimen in order to get her back to a point where they could continue giving her more chemo. Looking at her on the brink of death and suffering in her hospital bed, the prospect of prolonging the inevitable seemed like an insane money grab and not at all humane. As the eldest daughter I said it wasn’t up to me and that they would have to ask mom directly as she was right there and awake and cognizant.

The doctor asked mom if they should proceed with a blood transfusion and she said no, and that she wanted to be removed from the oxygen and everything else. In that moment, I saw just what a strong person my mother was and that she was determined to leave this world on her own terms.

With all her children around her bed, the nurse removed my mother’s oxygen tube and we could immediately see her oxygen level and blood pressure start sinking. She looked at each one of us and said “I love you” as we held her hand and she proceeded to suffocate in front of us. We were singing her favorite hymns and she went out attempting to sing with us until she was gone.

It was both devastating and a privilege to watch my mother pass from this world to the next, and I will never forget it and hopefully never experience anything like it again. She was born on February 14, her father’s birthday, and died on August 23, my brother’s birthday. She was a kind and loving mother who lived her life for her family and I will spend the rest of my life trying my best to honor her legacy.