What To Do When You Feel You Can't Do Anything : The Top 15 Tips to Build Resilience

By  Yağmur Solakoğlu | YEET MAGAZINE  Published 2:15 a.m. ET, July 29, 2021

As the world faces new lockdowns and coronavirus restrictions  Caused By the Delta Variant, it is obvious there is a growing need for resilience, the ability to rebound from challenges is a vital feature. Inevitably, life will throw up some pessimistic bad events and it's often a measure of how happy and successful a person is that he can deal with such circumstances positively and creatively.

Resilient people have exhibited less depressive levels and are more likely to develop as a result of hardship than less resilient persons.

Some people seem more resilient by nature. Yet, resilience is a feature that can be developed. These are ways to do it. Below you may find the top 15 tips to build resilience.

1.Have a positive attitude

It’s all in the mind. Resilient people are well-thinking and seeing themselves as optimistic. In this phase, journaling your thoughts on a daily basis immensely helps along with meditation. You can benefit from the psychiatrist David E.Burns’ book, Feeling Good.

2 .Build strong relationships

According to studies, resilient people have strong social relationships such as family, friends, and coworkers. These networks are a huge source of support during difficult times. Yet, socializing has tremendous benefits to the brain.

3. Appreciate things

Seeing the positive aspects of your life rather than the negative ones will put you in a happy frame of mind and help you create good habits. Therefore, you will have a fruitful life no matter what happens.

4. Focus on the positive side

Everybody knows that the "half-full glass" mentality is helpful. To build resiliance, see unwanted situations or events as temporary or even as opportunities to learn and grow rather than impossible to stand.

5. Know your responsibilities

Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor, observed that people in the camps who believed they had a certain amount of influence over their own circumstances had significantly better  chances of survival than those who felt they had been passive victims. Resilient individuals are proactive and act effectively to improve circumstances.

6. Accept things you can’t change

Certain things cannot simply be changed, and resilient people accept this, rather than waste energy on trying to do the impossible. Instead, they change their attitude towards this stable condition. To do this, you can practice mindfulness and breathing exercises.

7. Set goals and take necessary action

It's crucial to have a notion of a goal. Glitches and reverses are inevitable, but resilient people are mindful of the destination. However, you should aim for realistic goals and divide them into doable parts for a sense of success and motivation.

8. Focus on a long-term perspective and a broader horizon

From the perspective of a bird's eye, concerns are smaller. Try to see them as the parts of a route that grow you. In the end, the big picture is what really matters. And this picture is made of your habits.

9. Be the bright-side person

Resilient people keep a cheerful perspective and expect favorable results. It may well lead to a "Pollyanna" mentality, but it is no more practical to be gloomy and negative than to expect the best.

10. Make learning your priority

Strong people want to acquire beneficial lessons from reversals and problems. Looking back, we may find that we have learned most from what appeared the hardest. Resilience often causes some to overcome huge challenges in order to become top 10 tips successful. Look at many well-known, successful, wealthy persons with humble beginnings or even deprived ones. Take measures to build resilience in your own life - that will be of service to you.

11. Keep Improving your talents

Resilience might take time to build, so don't be disheartened if you still try to confront problems. Everybody can learn to be resilient, and no certain attitudes or activities are involved. Strongly resilient might differ from person to person. Focus on these skills and on the common qualities of resilience, but keep your strengths in mind.

12. Polish your problem-solving skills

Take time to think about how you approach challenging situations today, how much you follow objective logic, and how frequently you blur your judgment with emotional responses and irrational thinking. The way we see circumstances, solve difficulties and adapt to change is essential to our strengths. Therefore, be honest and seek help if this appears to be a problem for you.

13. Value your previous experiences

Recall a time that was a memorable and tough event from your career and personal life (both positive and negative) and realize that you have passed through those periods of adversity successfully. You have learned and adapted these times - you can do it again. Trust your ability to face the trials of your life; you may be even more robust than you can!

14. Have a desire to try new things

Learn new abilities and seek chances for growth and development rather than old behavior and habits, especially when it becomes apparent that they are no longer serve you. If you become anxious while thinking this, you may first have to create trust and overcome worry.

Thus, it will assist you to think about what leads to this old behavior, and whether it will help.

Physical health and sleep schedule are priorities

It can be easy to overlook our health if we feel concerned or pressured. This is
comprehensible, therefore when things go well, it is important that we control our health. When things are difficult, we must place a credit in the health bank. All of the frequent reactions to the daily pressure and crises include losing our appetite (or eating too much), forgetting exercise, and insufficient sleep. Care for your physical health may now enhance your total mental well-being and build strength, ready for future life difficulties.

About the author   Yağmur Solakoğlu

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More : 10 Personal Habits of Resilient People

Here’s a short list of Personal Habits of Resilient People, based on my personal experience of meeting many of them, interviewing them and writing about them:

Personal Habits of Resilient People

1. Constantly Building Relationships – they care about others and how others are doing. They listen deeply because they have a curiosity for learning about life in all its ways. Victor Frankl spoke about this in “Man’s Search for Meaning” – living to serve others is a mission that allowed survival of Nazi concentration camps.
2. Never Share Victim Stories – there are hero stories (I am responsible for the situation, I must change if I want the situation to change) and victim stories (“the traffic made me late”, “my boss won’t let me”, “nobody listens to me when I speak”). I don’t hear many Victim Stories from resilient people.
3. Forgive Themselves Quickly – they understand that the “me” of 2 years ago took the best decisions that the “me” of 2 years ago was capable of taking – I didn’t know then what I know now.
4. Forgive Others Quickly – they understand that everyone is on a difficult journey of their own and face challenges that I am not aware of. Often someone angry at me may have a sick parent, or a tough financial situation.
5. Take Decisions Quickly – they don’t wait for perfect information. They take a decent decision with the information available and move on. They understand that you can take another decision tomorrow – even reverse today’s decision if necessary.
6. “Thank you” – to waiters, to investors, to toll-booth staff, to teachers, to cleaners…
7. Reframe Constantly – They reflect upon their life and re-examine past experiences based upon today’s wisdom. I find that my view of my childhood and 20s changes because I see frustrations, challenges and hard work differently now than I did when I was 25. Back then I thought “I am gifted and I deserve success”, now I think “all meaningful work requires suffering”
8. Forward Looking – the first instinct is to ask “what can we do now?” when faced with a setback, rather than “who’s fault is this?”
9. 5 Pillars in Life – Pillars in life can be work, family, tennis, teaching, gardening, writing… Resilient people have multiple deep interests. They don’t live 100% for work or 100% for family.
10. Separate “State” and “Person” – They understand that the state does not make the person – a state of bankruptcy is not a failed person – it is a momentary point on the journey. Charles Barrington, the Irish climber who first summited the Eiger mountain in 1858 – was at the lowest point of the mountain at 3am and on the summit at midday – he was the same person at 3am and midday. A resilient person understands that climbing mountains is not always uphill.

What else works for you? What else do you see in the people who you would call “resilient” around you?

Video: 3 Tools for Resilience when facing Challenges

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